Monthly Archives: September 2011

Sitting here in tears. RIP Jamey Rodemeyer.


Sitting here in tears, snot running out my nose, absolutely helpless. I’ve finally composed myself, but each time I start to type this blog post, I want to just cry again. Today I read the story of Jamey Rodemeyer, a 14 year old boy who killed himself because of being bullied at school and online (See the story here). Jamey was a gay or bisexual teenager, who only had girl friends and no male friends and really tried to be strong against the bullying that came with being a gay teenager. He even posted a video on youtube called “It gets better, I promise!”:

8 days into a high school year, Jamey’s younger sister came into his room and found him dead – he had taken his life. I feel so sick and disgusted and upset and so god damn fucking angry that somebody would be bullied so much that suicide becomes a better way out, or an escape. I want those bullies heads on a fucking plate, not that it would solve a thing. There are many reasons why people die, but when somebody dies because they just can’t take being called a ‘faggot’ one more time and they just can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, that breaks every piece of my fucking heart and spirit.

It does get better, eventually. I went through school being bullied, beaten, sworn at, excluded and threatened daily. Many times had I considered suicide as a better option than life. I had noone to talk to, my family didn’t (or couldn’t) understand and I couldn’t trust any of my friends really. I cried nearly everynight – I’d sit in my room and listen to Celine Dion or Shania Twain, that was my escape from reality, which was hell. I honestly couldn’t understand why god would make such a mistake.
Now, at 23, I know god does not make mistakes and he loves me and he loves you and he loves Jamey Rodemeyer, who is definitely in heaven now. People are just cruel, they can be cunts and I don’t have any idea why they chose to be that way. Maybe they don’t and are cursed somehow to end up as scum. Some people wonder why I hate high school or the places I grew up so much – this is why. If you a little bit a different in this world, there are people who will make you feel like shit, but you are worth so much more. Nobody is worthless and when you grow up and if you act in a way that is respectful and kind to others, you will be rewarded in this life and the next. The people who tease you, are mean to you, hurt you, abuse you, beat you and threaten will never be even 1% of the person you are and they may never change, but do not for a moment believe their views to be the truth because you are perfect as god or nature or science made you.

I can’t say anymore right now, but I really do pray for a better world everyday, just like Jamey did. Gays do not go to hell, but people who bully and cause teenage suicides go to hell, which is perhaps where they belong. In heaven, the last shall be first.



Why you should buy clothes from KMart. No kidding.

Why you should buy clothes from KMart. No kidding.

Well hello there! I just got back from Chadstone, where I was picking up a couple of things before I head back home to QLD for a week. Chadstone is kind of shopping heaven in Melbourne, the fact that it’s called ‘the Fashion capital’ says it all really. I really needed some jeans. You have no idea how many pairs of jeans I go through a year – at least 4 pairs! ..and yes, I do wear them everyday, but seriously FOUR pairs?! It’s absurd. Anyway, today I picked up a cute pair of skinny’s from Target for $29… and yes, I KNOW what you are thinking – $29, no wonder he goes through so many pairs, but I tell you it is simply not the case! I have spent $29, $59, $99, $179 (in my stupider days) on pairs of jeans just to find they unceremoniously rip in between my thighs like a pair of tights… as we speak, I have a maroon coloured pair of Levi’s in my bedroom who are threatening to tear all the time. It’s funny though, because my partner has 10s of jeans which he has had for year and not a problem and apparently so has alot of other people. What is their problem? Since jeans have no sense of smell it can’t be my B.O.! So I turned to my friends (even though 80% of them are absolute beanpoles) and asked for their advice… the only thing they really could say was wear them higher. Higher? If you have a vagina, perhaps this is Ok, but for those of us with penis and testicles (those with penis only might manage), wearing your jeans higher is not on the list of things you’d like to do to your own genitals. It’s just plain uncomfortable and it looks absolutely wrong. Anyway, like all good men, refusing to sacrifice my spermatazoa (I did try it for an hour), I have come to the conclusion that 4 pairs a year it shall be. Since I’m money concious – I’m koori, we’re all money conscious.. like conscious that we don’t have any money in the first place – I’ve started getting hooked at KMart and Target. HORRIFYING, I KNOW. But not really. I’ll tell you something for nothing, I HATE BRANDING. I have never understood the point of buying something because it has the brand name slathered all over it, but these department stores don’t brand, they know it’s not cool to shop at KMart, but it sure is smart. You have this really cool and basic stuff in nice colours with no branding, at good prices. Okay, I will admit, I’m dying for a dark green pair of skinny jeans, but sadly my wallet is already dead. I think at any budget (in Australian terms) you can look fashionable and look good, if you so choose. People who buy things just because of the branding are not fashionable, they just have money. Fashion is about style, not about brands. ~Gary.

P.S. So I am listening to Shania Twain – Come On Over. I’m listening to the American Version of course, the international version is good yes, but there’s something much more country and much more Shania about the original. It’s truly a special album for me! If you have not discovered it, or not heard it, I’d be curious to hear what new ears would think about it. Personally, I grew up with this woman and she got me through my childhood.

New Clothes Curtosy of KMart & Target